It is amazing how fast time flies! It has official been a year since my most recent move to the Big Apple and so I only thought it would be proper to write this post to reflect on my achievements and to mainly pay tribute to those who have helped to make this year fabtabulous!
AT STARBUCKS
Starbucks has wonderful customer service and lately I have been paying close attention... maybe too close!
Visiting the Nate Show
I had the awesome privilege of having The Nate Berkus Show and Inside Edition host, Deborah Norville come to my NY apartment and give me a bedroom makeover to start my journey here in New York. This is a blog post I found on Deborah Norville's webiste. Enjoy.
CRUSTY AND WARM FEELINGS
When you hear the word "baguette,” what do you think of? I know that I instantly think about a warm piece of bread that is crusty on the outside, soft, and warm on the inside. YUM!
When you hear the word "baguette,” what do you think of? I know that I instantly think about a warm piece of bread that is crusty on the outside, soft, and warm on the inside. YUM!
Feelings can be sort of like this and when we are dealing with conflict I think, it is important to get familiar with your personal baguette of feelings! :-)
So when you get mad what comes out? Is it anger, resentment, hate, fear, frustration, mistrust, passivity, blame, or what about jealousy? When we are angry at someone what are we really feeling on the inside that makes us lash out with the crusty feelings? Things like love, disappointment, pain, fear, regret, sadness, rejection, insecurity, or hopelessness are some things that come to mind.
If we take a moment to think about a time when we allowed our crusty feelings to take over and lead us through a conflict that ended with hurt feelings... go back in your mind and think about how you were really feeling. Were you disappointed that someone hurt you? And instead of stating that you were disappointed, you lashed out and yelled at him or her about how he or she is "always" doing something to you!
Anyway - I know I have had my share of crusty arguments but I think going forward I will attempt to deal with my conflicts better by getting to know myself better and getting in touch with my warm center and then letting the warm and soft feelings come out when I am trying to resolve or prevent a conflict!
Now what will you think of when you hear the word "baguette"?
1. Random people keep bringing you your gloves because you don't remember their existence.
2. You keep yelling, "What is on my freakin' head?!!" (That would be a winter hat)
3. You stop everything you are doing and purchase a new coat immediately.
5. You ask the store clerk for the, "warmest coat in stock" (even if its in the back and for future sale!)
6. When you get the warmest coat ... you scream and do the birthday dance because it has two sets of pockets and a hood you lose your peripheral vision in... when you have it up.
7. You hug the guy selling gloves for $2.00 (with no fingers so I can still text)
8. You pay $4.00 for the $2.00 gloves
9. You don't need a bag for your coat because you are going to put on coat NOW
10. You go to the kids section and purchase the little convenient attachments for your gloves to hook to your coat! :-)
I love Facebook like so many others; I use it to connect with friends in my life, stay connected with long-distance family and stretch my culinary mind with a little game called, Cafe World. I have been a Facebook member since its inception and since the start of 2010 Facebook has become the platform, I check first. Before email, voice-mail, or snail mail but a recent conversation with a good friend has me concerned with how we, yes even myself, are choosing to use Facebook and other social networking platforms.
I called my friend at work because I had not heard from her and this is sort of the last resort place to find her. After I found out that she was okay, she proceeded to ask me how I was doing and then added, "From your updates on Facebook, things seem to be going fine." I of course, said things were great... well because they are going great, for the most part. After we ended the phone call her statement about my status updates stuck with me and has thus I am writing this blog post. Here is what I have to say to readers:
Please do not use Facebook as a replacement "How are you?" because it is not the same. Should I have put on Facebook that I was facing an eviction from my apartment because I had not, at one point, found work that pays enough to maintain my $1100 apartment? Or should I write that this is the first time that I have lived by myself and that I barely walk into my bedroom because it is empty and reminds me that I just started over... no, of course not; I wouldn't dare. Why... because that is my personal business and it is a temporary struggle that many people face. Moreover, I have learned to focus on the good stuff... that is where the status updates come from, because there is so much GREAT stuff.
I am not telling you all of this so that you can feel sorry for or me and check on "me". It is not just about me, it is about your friends, family, strangers who randomly friended or followed you because they saw something that intrigued them... CHECK ON THEM! If you have not noticed an update from someone... call them! If you have seen an update and things don't seem normal...go visit them! If you know a person who bottles up the bad times... send them a hand-written note to say that you were thinking of them!
I am not saying to take each status update an analyze them. I am saying ask yourself, “Am I being a good friend?” If you are reading this blog then I am sure you have the common sense to use this blog and apply it to your life, where and if needed.
Today I Am... #justsaying Facebook is not a replacement for checking up on your loved ones! We all have problems but connecting with others can some times shed light or give hope!
Since my recent move back to The Big City I have been frequenting Starbucks probably more often than I should. I just can't get enough of the package that Starbucks offers, especially now that they are playing Josh Groban's new holiday CD.
On my most recent trips, I have been noticing small changes that Starbucks is making to make the process easier and more enjoyable for customers however; there is one change that I cannot seem to get out of my head. I am usually quick about stating my order to the barista and keeping it movin' but now I find myself pausing after I order my drink to see if this certain change is consistent. In the short seconds that I pause the cashier looks up, on command, and says, "Would you like something to eat with that?" The first time I heard the question I think I said, "No" just because the question sounded so…plain. Something to "eat" reminds of the classic fry question or of “paper or plastic”. You don't "eat" at Starbucks... you snack or better yet enjoy a beautiful, one-of-a-kind, Starbucks pastry. That may be too long to say or strange… so until Starbucks decides to change their messaging—I will keep enjoying my Venti Iced Coffee with Hazelnut with room for milk and “something to eat”!
Everyday I travel by way of public transportation and by foot... so there are many unspoken rules that I follow while navigating through the Big Apple. Today, one particular rule annoyed me... so, I decided to break it!
Riding up and down escalators I notice that the left side is always empty. The unspoken rule is that people riding the escalator stay to the right side and those who want to walk or run up the escalator can do this on the left side. This rule, in my opinion, is crazy because less than a foot away are actual stairs that one can take freely.
So as you can see TODAY I AM... breaking the rules and standing on the left side of escalator.
One of the fastest ways to see evidence of God is to go right outside. The changing of the leaves, the wind blowing in your face, and the stillness you witness over a body of water.
On my way to a class I had to stop and take this picture. The way the clouds took over the sky made it hard for me to keep moving towards my destination.
Finding an apartment in the NY City area has not been the best journey but it is always worth it when you find something you love. I absolutely love my new apartment and as I made the transition from the bad and scary apartment, I knew I had to have some divine intervention on finding my new home.
I remember a story that someone once told me about her house-hunting journey. They said, “I knew it was the right one!”I said, "How did you know?" they said that they had seen a sign. Therefore, as they went on to explain the sign... it was simply a wind-chime that had brought them joy as they heard its lovely sound. For me... it was less romantic and lovely.
Kitchen
For those who know me... know that I LOOOOOVE ice! I know the right shape, density, etc that makes a great ice cube. So, when I went into this place it was hot and I was tired. So I said, "God... if this is the right place for me, please let there be ice cubes in this freezer. If there are ice cubes in here 'good ice cubes' then I will know that, this is the place for me. I opened the freezer and there was my favorite ice cube shape in the freezer. I moved in that night!
Livingroom
When I left Florida, I told myself that I had to live in the apartment I landed in for 5 years. That meant no looking left or right... wondering what I was missing in another place. That I was going to make the best out of the place I had chosen. Now I expected that the rent was going to be less and the space going to be smaller but as you will view the price and area is all worth it.
Today I Am... Sitting in my new apartment and just smiling and enjoying my cup of ice in my 2 bedroom Jersey Heights Apartment!
Today I am... watching a Back to the Future marathon. This is the first time I have ever seen these movies and as part II is half-way finished I am starting to see this common theme of "rejection" and how it impacts future events.
None of us like rejection and if you are like me, then you do your best to avoid putting yourself in situations where someone else can turn you down or turn you away from what you are seeking.
In the movie the main characters travel back and forth through time trying to avoid missing out on love, not getting the right job, or the continuous bullying from high school to adulthood. How can we emulate this idea without a time machine? If we are taking lessons from the movie it seemed that the main characters always applied courage and knowledge to each situation in order to get the best residual outcome. Being courageous changed the entire trajectory of each situation and then rejection was not even an option. So after this small analysis of Back to the Future I have been thinking a lot about how rejection is a reflection of my lack of courage or applied courage and the inability for me to apply knowledge to a situation... because I am focused on the what I will feel like if I am rejected.
Today I Am... learning how being courageous, bold and confident can eliminate the "rejection reflection" of myself!
Moving is no fun! Moreover, most of us can agree that when we move we would like to minimize the amount of drama as much as possible. There is an extreme amount of anxiety attached to moving when you are moving out of state. I have moved state to state at least 5 times and each time I do my best to remember the lessons learned from the previous move. There are some lessons that even after five moves I have not absorbed. This move to New York was the first time that I went after an apartment for just me (vs. a roommate situation)
My most recent move from Orlando to New York was very smooth all the way up to looking for an apartment and so with this blog post I hope I can save someone else the drama and you can apply the lessons I learned to your next apartment / house search. Things have changed a lot over the years and not only have the prices risen but also the expectation as far as earnings and deposit amount. Most landlords want you to make 40 times the rent and put down a 1.5 months as a deposit and Realtor / broker fees in some cases that are equal to one month.
When I first arrived into NYC, I stayed with a friend for a week. Things were good... there were a nice comfortable bed, hot food, and good conversation. Therefore, I spent this week looking for my new dream east coast apartment. I had many ideas... exposed brick, fun neighborhood, and quick access to transportation!
In the NYC and tri-state, area people are accustomed to using Craigslist as a way to land a job, apartment, and a hot night out on the town with a certified crazy! :-)
So going to Craigslist was a natural first step for me. I combed through all the postings and found my dream apartments but not the dream prices. So sadly, I started looking in other areas of Jersey City and upstate New York. There were some great places in Jersey City, with reasonable prices and good locations... so I printed my favorite postings out and proceeded to hit the streets in search of my new apartment.
The first apartment was $635 a month and in a great neighborhood. I was super excited about this place because I knew that with a rent this low I would be able to shop till I literally drop with all the money I would be saving in rent cost. Outside the building, I was super excited because it was quiet and clean. Once I walked in, I was super miserable because it was dirty and small! Small is an understatement actually, it was the size of a one car garage. There was absolutely no room to live at all. Now I did consider staying here for about 10 minutes as I envisioned shopping and jet setting, but I knew I would be unhappy on move-in day; and so I kindly thanked the man showing me the apartment and went to apartment 2.
Apartment 2 was the start of the apartments in the $900 price range. I was drawn to this apartment (while viewing online) because of the cabinets in the kitchen. When I walked in the apartment smelled of fresh paint, the bathroom was to DIE for! If you have ever been to an NY apartment, you know that the bathroom is sometimes the size of a closet and so the size of this bathroom was great! I liked this apartment and there was nothing particularly wrong but there was nothing-particular right either. I was able to get a potty break in and charge my phone because the property owner did not come to this place... he said, "There’s a key under the mat". So, I took my sweet little time looking at this place and get powered-up for the next apartment viewing.
The next apartment sounded beautiful but I wouldn't know if that were actually true because this person didn't have time to show me.:(
The next apartment said "View of Statue of Liberty". The pictures of the apartment seemed fine and so I proceeded to contact the landlord and we met a few blocks away from the apartment. He said he would come and pick me up because I was far away and he was driving. I was so tired of walking around that I agreed. (Safety out the door when tired BTW) We drove through the blocks and I noticed that there was a bunch of people just hanging out. I asked the man "are all these people hanging out on the block with the apartment?" he said, "no, the block with the apartment is very quiet.” I thought nothing more of it. When we arrived at the apartment, the block was quiet, the outside of the house was clean, and all seemed fine. When I entered the apartment, I fell in love. The view of the Statue of Liberty was GREAT and perfect from a little Ohio-girl, such as myself! The apartment was a two bedroom for $995 and there were some furnishings. This was the best I had seen all day. It was settled, I would take this apartment.
As the next days progressed, my friends moved my things into my apartment and I did my quick grocery run and was happy to get started on making this place the new home for Aleesha and my little doggy, Brooklyn.
As I was cleaning up one of my friends called me and said that he did not want to be in my business but this neighborhood was bad and has a high crime rate. Looking around you cannot see the "crime rate". I hung up the phone with my friend and decided to go outside to look to see if I could use my super spy eyes to see any crime. LOL Well I didn't see anything so I decided to ask the people that lived under me. You would have thought I had reported a fire or an emergency of some sort. They were nervous and said, "They didn't want to talk about it" and "by the Grace of God nothing has happened to us". This was not a good feeling. OMG now I have a bad neighborhood and bad neighbors. So at this point, I was upset and called the landlord to get his take on it. Of course, he said, the neighborhood is fine. It is quiet and safe and you will have no problems.
All the cleaning and home making ceased! I just sat down and gazed out the window for hours. I didn't know what to do. The landlord at all my money and I was left with a stack of paper clipped papers that said that this place belonged to me for another 364 days.
Eventually I went to bed and was woken up around 11:30PM with the sound of music, laughter, and partying. The party must have been good because it lasted until 3:30AM.
During this time, I emailed the landlord and said that this is not the apartment for me and I am moving out the next day. Over the next few days, I went back and forth with the landlord telling him that he lied and him telling me that the neighborhood was safe and it was all in my head.) After all the back and forth we both had to compromise. He gave me a portion of my money back and I had to accept it because I really didn't have any other rights, since I signed the lease.
Here are the lessons learned:
Check out crime statistics online before moving. You cannot see crime with your natural eyes.
Drive through the neighborhood at night especially on a Friday or Saturday night.
Meet your potential new neighbors. You want to make sure that your neighbors are your allies.
Add a clause to your lease about you changing your mind within 24-48 time-frame
Call a taxi, delivery pizza, or Chinese place and see if they come to this neighborhood... If they do not... do not move in - this is usually a tale-tell sign that robbery is a problem.
Stay tuned to learn more about the apartment woes in NYC.
Today I Am... learning some adult lessons in apartment searching in the Big City!
Aleesha holds a master's degree in speech communications from New York University's Steinhardt School of Culture, Education, & Human Development and a Bachelors degree from Otterbein University, Westerville, OH, in Public Relations and Speech Communications.
1:48 PM
Aleesha Nash
